| - i love you.
i love him
i love her
i love them
i love us
i love me?
i love everyone, and everything.
not really. i haven't talked to a few people too much lately, and i really don't see the need to. it's upsetting, extremely, because they were my best friends. don't get me wrong, i don't hate anybody. i'm just growing apart, from old friends, from good friends. i'll miss the old times, but the current times make me upset, and so, i'm done with it. i've changed so much this year, you wouldn't recognize me. i don't mean by looks. i'm just different. i have more of a social life, i get out more. i go to shows, i know kids from other schools, i know about a million more people. i'm proud. i'm happier now than i was last year. i think i'm happier with myself, i like myself better, although i'm still not very fond of myself at all. i'm still hopeless, but seeing as people can be so shallow, that's a given. i really don't like my school too much, the people aren't much like me at all. but i do have some friends there. i love the sounds of controlled screaming more than almost anything else. i can mosh in a livingroom, or a front yard, but at a real show, i might be too afraid. my hair was bright orange, then i added some pink. then it faded back to blonde. i re-did the pink, but added more than i thought. i redid the orange, and the pink dissapeared. it's faded back to blonde, but i'm doing the whole 'popsicle' head thing again on june 30th, the day before i go to warped tour. i tell my mom things that i don;t even tell some of my friends, i can talk to her a lot easier now, and i don't know what happened. i'm so over that whole "boy next door, neighbor kid<3" stage. wow, that was almost a year ago. summer is almost here, and oh boy i can't wait. my birthday is july 7th. i'm going to warped tour july 6th ((as well as the 1st)). the last week of july, and the first week of august, i'm going to washington/oregon. i'll get to go to some shows in portland, and my cousin eric has promised to take me and my brother to an under 18 club, haha. i suppose it will be fun, even though i don't get to bring a friend. i need a break anyways. i don't know what to do for my birthday party. my mother says i can have a party, with a band, at the elvis house. then she says we won't be able to pay the band, so it's almost pointless to even try. but i just might. last weekend she was out of town. my dad is pretty laid back, so my brother and i threw a party. i thought it was swell. janine and i started this huge water fight, and ended up being the only two drenched. brandon and declan both got in my pants. ((they got wet, so they had to borrow mine. i swear it's not what it sounds like, dear god no)). i was real upset that some of the girls (you know who you are) decided it would be more fun to walk down the street, without telling me they were leaving though. because "they didn't want to get wet". lame. then janine and i, and nicole for a while, we moshed in the front yard, and my rite*aid shoes got all muddy. after a while, we finally ordered the pizza. i think 6 of them, and they were gone within 10 minutes ((no joke)). everyone was in my sisters room. sneakily, i popped my underoath cd in, and someone turned out the lights. someone screamed "pit!" and within a minute, i was on the floor, and there were like 10 people on top of me. it was swell. this is pretty funny, writing on xanga. i doubt anybody ever reads this anymore. i don't have the same email address, so i know i don't. ehkkk! i feel so... dead. happy. depressed. excited. everything.
i'm going to try to get some photos up soon. actual photos. not myspace status "shocked face" ones. old ones. ones that i have to scan, because they're from before i got my digi cam.
 (haven't seen that in a while)
:heaRt: paisley |
<3 paisley
then on friday we're probably going to ride our bikes to balboa. and we also get to go to the paul frank store, which should be fun. when we go to balboa we get to see the pigeons!!! and theyre the nice kind that dont run away.. lol.